Another Pregnancy Ticker! (Cuz I am addicted)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

My Delivery Story

Exactly one year ago (Labor Day weekend) my hubs and I had our very first meeting with T & S at a restaurant. That meeting lasted about 5 hours and really spelled out how the journey would be, and started an amazing bonded friendship that I think I will have for my lifetime! :)

When I first filled out my profile for parents to look through, there was a question that asked something like "What would you say to reassure the parents that you will not have a problem giving the babies to them?" I wrote that “I have always been a nanny and love caring for children and this is sort of like being a nanny before they are born. I have always been a people pleaser, that I take more pleasure making people happy than anything. Even if I am feeling any sadness, that one look at how happy I am making someone else, making their dreams come true, that feeling would trump any of my sadness.” Throughout the pregnancy I took it little by little (always saying I do not know how I will feel, but so far so good) but that is EXACTLY how I felt. Here is my delivery story.

On Wednesday, September 2, 2009 after being on bed rest and procardia for 4 weeks, I began to worry about Baby B because she hadn’t been moving as much as she normally would. I continued to leak fluid, and was concerned that it wasn’t urine, but amniotic fluid. I called T and asked her what she wanted to do, seeing as they are here babies after all. We agreed I would call the doctor and do what was suggested. They said to go straight to labor and delivery at Alton Memorial Hospital. I called Mark and he came home to pick me and Lorelei up and we headed to meet T at L&D. While waiting I was trying not to panic and packed two full bags of things we would need, including the contracts and legal papers of parentage. When Mark got home we loaded the jeep and started the hour long drive to the hospital.

Once I walked into the hospital my favorite nurses and T were all waiting to get me in the room and check on the babies. In the gown and bed I was hooked up to the monitors to find contractions and heartbeats. Baby A was very easy to find, out of the ordinary for him! While Baby B was not as easy. After about 7 minutes of looking for her heart beat, I was alone in the room with nurse D when I finally let my anxiety show. “When do you start to worry about them,” I asked. She smiled and said “If it has been ten minutes and I cannot find the beat, and someone else cannot also find the beat, then I worry”. She went out to get another nurse who eventually found both heartbeats of A and B thank God. Once found, Baby B decided to go crazy and began moving and jumping and playing as normal. The doctor on call decided to monitor me for just a while longer and called in an ultrasound to check the Amniotic Fluid Levels to make sure what was leaking was actually just urine.

The fluid levels were fine, and I was told I could go home. T sent S home, and I sent Mark home with Lorelei as well. Just as I got dressed, nurse R came back in and said she forgot to tell Dr T about my high blood pressures. I was asked to wait about ten more minutes while she waited to hear from him. Once he heard how high they were, he immediately decided to keep me and monitor my blood for pre-eclampsia. It was possible I would be there all night. T and I were excited, knowing that the next day I would be 36 weeks and my doctor, Dr. C, was going to take me off procradia and bed rest and possibly deliver the babies. Especially if baby A was still breech, which he was. After one hour I was told my blood was clean, and I could go home. T and I were disappointed but convinced that at my appointment the next day, we would hear good news of delivery. We both called our husbands and said we would be home soon. As I was putting on my shoes, nurse R came back in with a slight smile. “Well, Dr C called back and has decided that with all that has been happening with your BP, fluid levels, and baby positioning she is going to keep you overnight and have your C-section tomorrow morning!!” T and I were ecstatic! T went home to get everything ready, and I stayed in the hospital all night unable to sleep because I was so anxious! The surgery was scheduled for noon the next day.

At about 10:30 the nurses began prepping me for surgery. T and S arrived at 11:15, and Mark was there as well with Lorelei. T got scrubbed in and her family and friends arrived at 11:35 just as nurse R came in to tell us the surgery was bumped back to 5:30 because there were no available anesthesiologists! Everyone was disappointed. While we were talking about who would go home and come back, and how long the drive was, nurse R came back in and said “We are back on. . . Anesthesia is on the way up, so I need everyone to clear out.” She gave Mark scrubs too, with the hopes that he would also be allowed in the room as our doctor had spoken of. (Normally this is not allowed, but given the circumstances of the babies needing T, and me needing hubs, she was going to try to let them both in)

As I was being pushed down the hall with nurse R, I was nervous about what was about to happen. I have never had surgery, stitches, or anything. When I got into the room, the nerves did not go away, especially since the room was stark white with big bright lights and all I could think about was what I had seen happen in these rooms on TV. I tried to breath calmly and moved onto the operating table where the anesthesiologist started talking me through what he was doing. I sang “Jesus Loves Me” to calm me and my breathing. Nurse R was amazing at keeping me calm, and the spinal shot wasn’t as bad as I expected. I went numb immediately and they strapped me down to the table and got me all ready before calling in T and Mark.

Both Mark and T were allowed in the room due to the circumstances and my doctor's generosity. While I was laying there on the table T was on my left and from the very beginning her eyes were glistening. When they began to pull out Baby A, she was told to stand up and look, once he was out and I heard him scream and saw him, I looked over at her and she was shaking and crying and she knelt down and kissed my forehead and said "Libbie, thank you so much for doing this." I IMMEDIATELY began balling and saying your welcome, and I started giggling. Then they pulled out baby B and T again knelt down to say thank you and I could hear sooo much happiness and joy in her voice, I cannot explain the feeling I had. There was NO sorrow, NO regret, not even any feeling of "I wish they were mine" All I felt was the most amazing warmth and pride. I don't know if that is like tooting my own horn or being boastful, but I really just laid there feeling the best I have felt about myself. I continued to cry and laugh while hearing both babies cry and hear T being able to cut the cords and hold the babies. Mark stayed by my side the whole time and we just smiled and waited as I was being sewn back together. I asked him if he could see my organs. He hesitated and asked “Do you really want to know? Yes. It is weird” I laughed. There were only a few times when my BP changed and I felt nauseous and dizzy. When they were all done, I was moved into the recovery room and then to my own suite.

T and S were given a room across from mine, and I was able to see and hold the twins anytime I wanted. I have gotten to become such good friends with T that we just ended up hanging out in the rooms talking and holding the babies a lot. Our families have bonded in a way I really wanted, but didn't know if I would get. We plan on future family trips to the lake of Ozarks, and BBQs. In fact T asked me what I wanted the babies to call me, she said I should at least be called an Aunt. I have no question in my mind that we will be forever family.

Now that I am home, I do have baby blues a bit, or I guess just hormonal blues. It is very weird for me because even though I was pregnant for 36 weeks, I do not feel like I was, other than the obvious pain. I mean I do not feel like something is missing, like I should have babies. I have a love for them of course, but it doesn't feel in the slightest maternal, and I do not feel any emptiness at them not being with me.

Mark and I want to have a baby of our own next so I have plenty of time to think about doing a another surrogacy. I am not sure if I could do it again simply because another journey would not be like this one, and this one was so perfect I do not want to taint the memory of surrogacy. However, this is one of the most amazing memorable things I have every done, and I will never forget that feeling.

5 comments:

Shantay said...

Great Story.. thanks for sharing!

Kelly's Uterus said...

Congratulations!! Reading your post made me cry remembering my first surrogacy too . . . there's nothing like seeing the Parents react to hearing their children for the first time! :)

Hope you have a quick and easy recovery.

Yummy Mommy Mia and Daddy Al said...

Wow. Thank you for being honest and sharing this. Made me tear up. what a lovely gift you were able to give.

Shantay said...

How are you doing??? 4 months later. I have my surro twins in October, so a month after you.

Tricia said...

Wow! This ia an amazing story and actually brought me to tears. I think it is totally incredible you were able to do this for a family. I had to take fertility medicines for two years to get my now 3 year old son and was lucky to get pregnant unexpectedly with my 10 month old son however had a lot of complications with his pregnancy and birth. Due to that, I will not be able to have any more children but I am so blessed to have my boys after being told that I would NEVER have children on my own. It is so comforting to know there are people like you (angels) out there to help others have a family of their own.