My Delivery Story

Exactly one year ago (Labor Day weekend) my hubs and I had our very first meeting with T & S at a restaurant. That meeting lasted about 5 hours and really spelled out how the journey would be, and started an amazing bonded friendship that I think I will have for my lifetime! :)

When I first filled out my profile for parents to look through, there was a question that asked something like "What would you say to reassure the parents that you will not have a problem giving the babies to them?" I wrote that “I have always been a nanny and love caring for children and this is sort of like being a nanny before they are born. I have always been a people pleaser, that I take more pleasure making people happy than anything. Even if I am feeling any sadness, that one look at how happy I am making someone else, making their dreams come true, that feeling would trump any of my sadness.” Throughout the pregnancy I took it little by little (always saying I do not know how I will feel, but so far so good) but that is EXACTLY how I felt. Here is my delivery story.

On Wednesday, September 2, 2009 after being on bed rest and procardia for 4 weeks, I began to worry about Baby B because she hadn’t been moving as much as she normally would. I continued to leak fluid, and was concerned that it wasn’t urine, but amniotic fluid. I called T and asked her what she wanted to do, seeing as they are here babies after all. We agreed I would call the doctor and do what was suggested. They said to go straight to labor and delivery at Alton Memorial Hospital. I called Mark and he came home to pick me and Lorelei up and we headed to meet T at L&D. While waiting I was trying not to panic and packed two full bags of things we would need, including the contracts and legal papers of parentage. When Mark got home we loaded the jeep and started the hour long drive to the hospital.

Once I walked into the hospital my favorite nurses and T were all waiting to get me in the room and check on the babies. In the gown and bed I was hooked up to the monitors to find contractions and heartbeats. Baby A was very easy to find, out of the ordinary for him! While Baby B was not as easy. After about 7 minutes of looking for her heart beat, I was alone in the room with nurse D when I finally let my anxiety show. “When do you start to worry about them,” I asked. She smiled and said “If it has been ten minutes and I cannot find the beat, and someone else cannot also find the beat, then I worry”. She went out to get another nurse who eventually found both heartbeats of A and B thank God. Once found, Baby B decided to go crazy and began moving and jumping and playing as normal. The doctor on call decided to monitor me for just a while longer and called in an ultrasound to check the Amniotic Fluid Levels to make sure what was leaking was actually just urine.

The fluid levels were fine, and I was told I could go home. T sent S home, and I sent Mark home with Lorelei as well. Just as I got dressed, nurse R came back in and said she forgot to tell Dr T about my high blood pressures. I was asked to wait about ten more minutes while she waited to hear from him. Once he heard how high they were, he immediately decided to keep me and monitor my blood for pre-eclampsia. It was possible I would be there all night. T and I were excited, knowing that the next day I would be 36 weeks and my doctor, Dr. C, was going to take me off procradia and bed rest and possibly deliver the babies. Especially if baby A was still breech, which he was. After one hour I was told my blood was clean, and I could go home. T and I were disappointed but convinced that at my appointment the next day, we would hear good news of delivery. We both called our husbands and said we would be home soon. As I was putting on my shoes, nurse R came back in with a slight smile. “Well, Dr C called back and has decided that with all that has been happening with your BP, fluid levels, and baby positioning she is going to keep you overnight and have your C-section tomorrow morning!!” T and I were ecstatic! T went home to get everything ready, and I stayed in the hospital all night unable to sleep because I was so anxious! The surgery was scheduled for noon the next day.

At about 10:30 the nurses began prepping me for surgery. T and S arrived at 11:15, and Mark was there as well with Lorelei. T got scrubbed in and her family and friends arrived at 11:35 just as nurse R came in to tell us the surgery was bumped back to 5:30 because there were no available anesthesiologists! Everyone was disappointed. While we were talking about who would go home and come back, and how long the drive was, nurse R came back in and said “We are back on. . . Anesthesia is on the way up, so I need everyone to clear out.” She gave Mark scrubs too, with the hopes that he would also be allowed in the room as our doctor had spoken of. (Normally this is not allowed, but given the circumstances of the babies needing T, and me needing hubs, she was going to try to let them both in)

As I was being pushed down the hall with nurse R, I was nervous about what was about to happen. I have never had surgery, stitches, or anything. When I got into the room, the nerves did not go away, especially since the room was stark white with big bright lights and all I could think about was what I had seen happen in these rooms on TV. I tried to breath calmly and moved onto the operating table where the anesthesiologist started talking me through what he was doing. I sang “Jesus Loves Me” to calm me and my breathing. Nurse R was amazing at keeping me calm, and the spinal shot wasn’t as bad as I expected. I went numb immediately and they strapped me down to the table and got me all ready before calling in T and Mark.

Both Mark and T were allowed in the room due to the circumstances and my doctor's generosity. While I was laying there on the table T was on my left and from the very beginning her eyes were glistening. When they began to pull out Baby A, she was told to stand up and look, once he was out and I heard him scream and saw him, I looked over at her and she was shaking and crying and she knelt down and kissed my forehead and said "Libbie, thank you so much for doing this." I IMMEDIATELY began balling and saying your welcome, and I started giggling. Then they pulled out baby B and T again knelt down to say thank you and I could hear sooo much happiness and joy in her voice, I cannot explain the feeling I had. There was NO sorrow, NO regret, not even any feeling of "I wish they were mine" All I felt was the most amazing warmth and pride. I don't know if that is like tooting my own horn or being boastful, but I really just laid there feeling the best I have felt about myself. I continued to cry and laugh while hearing both babies cry and hear T being able to cut the cords and hold the babies. Mark stayed by my side the whole time and we just smiled and waited as I was being sewn back together. I asked him if he could see my organs. He hesitated and asked “Do you really want to know? Yes. It is weird” I laughed. There were only a few times when my BP changed and I felt nauseous and dizzy. When they were all done, I was moved into the recovery room and then to my own suite.

T and S were given a room across from mine, and I was able to see and hold the twins anytime I wanted. I have gotten to become such good friends with T that we just ended up hanging out in the rooms talking and holding the babies a lot. Our families have bonded in a way I really wanted, but didn't know if I would get. We plan on future family trips to the lake of Ozarks, and BBQs. In fact T asked me what I wanted the babies to call me, she said I should at least be called an Aunt. I have no question in my mind that we will be forever family.

Now that I am home, I do have baby blues a bit, or I guess just hormonal blues. It is very weird for me because even though I was pregnant for 36 weeks, I do not feel like I was, other than the obvious pain. I mean I do not feel like something is missing, like I should have babies. I have a love for them of course, but it doesn't feel in the slightest maternal, and I do not feel any emptiness at them not being with me.

Mark and I want to have a baby of our own next so I have plenty of time to think about doing a another surrogacy. I am not sure if I could do it again simply because another journey would not be like this one, and this one was so perfect I do not want to taint the memory of surrogacy. However, this is one of the most amazing memorable things I have every done, and I will never forget that feeling.

Quick Update

My appointment was yesterday and no change in cervix or position so looks like the procardia and bedrest is working. Um. . . Yea?

I am now +30 or so pregnancy weight.
Babies heart tones were both in the 120's
Blood pressure was just slightly high, but to be expected since I was up and about.

Doctor says at 36 weeks we will stop meds and bedrest. Hurry Up September!

It is fun to watch my belly move and jump and do the alien thing, though when baby boy moves I swear he is redecorating the "furniture" in there. And by that I mean it is quite painful because he is touching all sorts of nerves and organs, but it is still nice to know he's moving around.

I cannot get much sleep anymore, my bones go numb on both sides of my hips. Actually for the past two mornings I have woken up on my back and sleeping the best. WEIRD.

Stopped my Walmart on the way home from the doctor (hey, I was already out) and it was the most miserable 20 minutes. Not contractionwise, though I did have a few, but in the "holy-crap-my-tummy-is-too-big-for-my-body-therefore-I-can't-hold-it-up-much-longer" way. When I got home I couldn't hardly move and was on the couch for the remainder of the night. Maybe there really is something to this "bedrest" notion. :) I did get a Nintendo DSi though (family shared) to keep me busy as I have at least two more weeks of homeboundness. Yippee.

33 Weeks Photos and Video

August 13 End of Day

Wow, I just got home from what was supposed to be my weekly normal doctor checkup and turned out to be a 12 hour hospital stay! What a long day.

My doctor had just gotten back to town today, and was briefed with how my weekend went. So she came in to the room and started talking about how great it was that I had my steriod shots, and that if the babies were born now, they would be fine, but let's still try to hold out for two more weeks. She checked my cervix and no change, I am still at a 2, but she thinks that my effacement has slowed and I am back to a 40% and I am now high again. So the reversal of labor is working regardless of the contractions I am feeling. Then she listened to the heart tones. They seemed a little weakish and I remembered I hadn't really felt them move much, if any at all so she sent me to Labor and Delivery to monitor and do a stress test. UGH!

I have done this 3 to 4 times already before and it doesn't work well because baby A refuses to allow the heartbeat monitor to catch him in more than 5 minute intervals. So anyway I am hooked up on this machine for over 3 hours when they determine they will not be able to get baby A so they want to do a "biophysical ultrasoun" which means they monitor each baby on the ultrasound screen for half an hour to watch their movements. At 5 the tech shows up and starts monitoring baby A. First she shows me my cervix and then right there ontop of it is baby A'a head!! WOOOHOOOO he has moved into head down position and vaginal delivery looks possible!

Then we looked and saw the babies are using their lungs and practice breathing, and they each weigh about 4 lbs 10 oz. And are measuring slighting ahead of what they are! Everything looks good, I am FINALLY home. and about to eat. Whoop!

Update August 13

Here is a quick update for me. I have still been having contractions, in fact yesterday twice, while I was using the bathroom I was also contracting, and had a panicked thought “Oh Lord, please do not let me be one of the women who delivers on the toilet!”

I have been glued to the couch or bed except when I eat or go potty. Yet still the contractions come throughout the day. Last night I woke up at my normal 1 am bathroom break and was having such a hard contraction I could hardly make it to the bathroom. Then it continues while I lay in bed for a good 3 minutes. The most painly one I have had yet, I could hardly focus on breathing. I had one more a bit less intense about 10 minutes later, but then no more. Again when I woke at 5 am I had another two contractions. But not too hard.

IM is picking me up in half an hour for my doctor’s appointment where we hope to get a bunch of answers like, if I am still progressing, and when if at all they will allow me to go into labor. Keep you posted!

Going Home

Ok, got the contractions under control and they are sending me home on strict bedrest and 20 MG of Procardian. Hoping to get a few more weeks of incubation. I have to say afterall I have been through, I am quite disappointed the birth didn't happen. BUT I am glad they will have more mature lungs, and that hopefully we will make it far enough to deliver and STAY at our choice hospital.

August 9, 7:15 AM

Woke up at about 5:45 to a contraction and then had another one at 6:15. I feel like a mac truck hit me. They say it is the magnesium. Blah. It is being weaned out of my system in 6 hour increments. The doctor says nothing to worry about. He may worry if they get to go 4 contractions an hour for 2 hours. But for now I guess he thinks we are fine. Saw myself for the first time in two day this morning in the mirror! Yikes! There is really not a ton of stuff on hospital tv this early in the morning but I have "The Librarian" on. I really think I might just head back to sleep until breakfast comes. Yeah, that sounds good.